TAKOMA PARK, MD, April 16, 2006—The annual Forest Park Spryng Ovyl Syyk (pronounced sēk) was disrupted when black-clad ruffians chanted “Put the bunny back in Easter!”
and threw eggs at participants. They were finally driven off by a counter-attack from a local chapter of People for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals.
Kyle Rant, PETA spokesprimate, made a statement following the incident. Unfortunately, his fuzzy yellow chick outfit rendered
his speech completely unintelligible, though undeniably emphatic.
After the mid-day incident, Forest Park was littered with smashed organic, vegan, fruit-sweetened jelly beans and colorful
shards of smashed plastic eggs. “Ovyls,” corrected neighborhood association Head Druid Ned Glackenbach. “Do
they know how much these jelly beans cost?” he added, picking fruity goo from the treads of his Birkenstocks.