Takoma Pork Winter 2006 Issue
Open Letter from Myanmar
Winter 2006 Issue
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Open Letter to the "People" of Takoma Park from Myanmar

Winter 2006

 Editor’s note: Takoma Park has a number of citizens' committees that address community policy and issues.  One of these is the Free Burma Committee, which oversees an ordinance “prohibiting contracts for personal services with those who do business in or with Burma.”

Dear “People,”

It has come to the attention of the people of Myanmar that a group of citizens in Takoma Park is intent on disparaging the current situation in our country.  While we commend your zealotry, we urge you to rethink your position and commitment to this “Free Burma Committee” in your midst.  We reject your efforts on many fronts:

1. We do not approve of the name “Burma.”  We vastly prefer Myanmar, or at the very least, “The Republic Formerly Known as Burma.”  We would also be open to the use of a symbol for our name.

2. Our people are already quite free to do as we tell them.

If you persist in your subversive activities against our country, we will be forced to refuse the importation of any and all goods produced in Takoma Park, including but not limited to:

1. Musical CD productions by the so-called “Banjo Man.”  Be assured that we are fully aware of his subversive capitalist message—“She’ll be coming ‘round the mountain”—you tell “her” we’ll be waiting.

2. “The Takoma Park Newsletter.”  We have no interest in distributing this ridiculous farce.  What kind of government meddles in the content of its official publication only once?

3. “The Takoma Pork.”  What you people are doing in your community is just sick.

Additionally, while we commend your efforts, we refuse to allow you to relocate the Washington Adventist Hospital to our country.  What is it with you people and your insistence on linking healthcare and religion?   

And finally, we are NOT interested in contributing to this “gym” at your “Community” center.  We insist that your leaders refrain from contacting us and please put us on your “Do Not Call List.”  And no, we do not want to purchase an engraved brick either.

Sincerely,

Myanmar

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